What Is The ‘Congruent Point’ And Why Is It Important?

Introduction: Discovering the Power of Congruence

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If you did mathematics, (geometry, in particular), you may already know what is meant by ‘Congruent Point‘ in that context. But, did you know that there is also a Congruent Point in personal achievement?

You probably do without knowing that you do.

It refers to that seemingly elusive ability to be aligned with your goals and objectives. We talk about it so much that it is taken for granted. We spend too little time appreciating how critical it is to get to the Congruent Point BEFORE you can achieve success.

Although it may sound as though it is the same as being aligned with your goals and objectives. It is not.

The Point of Congruence is much more profound, much more consuming and possesses a whole lot more energy and force.

Change Happens at the Congruent Point

That is where the volcano erupts, where the eye of the hurricane sits and where you find the intensity of melting heat.

It is the point at which you have no other choice but to move, take action and do things differently. During a crisis, it is the point at which you must take action if you want to survive.

WHAT IS MEANT BY ‘CONGRUENT POINT’?
Congruent Point refers to the point at which your thoughts, actions, and goals align perfectly. It’s when you are truly in sync with yourself and your aspirations. It is at this point, that you are fully empowered to make meaningful and lasting changes in your life, achieving your goals, plans and objectives with confidence, balance and courage.

Importance of Personal Congruence

The importance of personal congruence cannot be overstated. It is critical for significant achievement, with emphasis on the word ‘significant‘.

There is an achievement and then there is ACHIEVEMENT! To be able to achieve in a meaningful and sustainable way it is necessary to get to your Congruent Point first.

Without synergy, there will be no fluidity and it will feel as though you are in a constant battle with yourself, lonely and always in competition.

The path to personal congruence forces you to take stock of what you have – and what you don’t. It pushes you to go inward and take stock of the changes you need to make to move towards the goals and objectives that you want.

This journey is the most important one you will ever take in your life and the good news is that it never ends.

It is a marathon, not a sprint.

A Brief Overview

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In this article, I will take you on a journey towards the Congruent Point.

We will explore the fundamental elements and mechanics of congruence and look at how those pieces can help you build a life that is in sync and adaptable.

To be able to do that you must also learn how to identify the blockers – what keeps you from getting – and staying – on the path. I will also share some insights on how to overcome these obstacles.

These tools, resources and strategies will help you to become more self-aware and learn how to implement plans and strategies to achieve your purpose and life goals.

Once you have begun this journey in a meaningful and authentic way, it will be almost impossible to stop or hold yourself back.

Let’s begin!

The Mechanics of Congruence:
Exploring the Fundamental Elements

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The Different Layers of Congruence

There are three distinct layers or parts of congruence. These are your:

• thoughts,
• feelings and,
• actions.

There are two additional overlapping layers that I think are underrated pieces of the puzzle and they are your language (what you say and how you say it) and the depth of your desire (how badly you want to achieve).

We shall explore each one.

Your Thoughts

Imagine your mind as a compass guiding you to success. When you think positively and stay focused on your goals, it’s like having a superpower. Your thoughts shape the path to your ‘Congruent Point,’ where everything clicks, and you can make awesome changes in your life that last and strengthen your power to achieve.

The power of the mind is underrated. In my opinion, we should be building topics such as ‘Understanding How Your Mind Works‘ into the school curriculum.

Your brain controls EVERY SINGLE body function.

Yet, we spend little to no time understanding how it works, how to nurture it and how to get the best out of it.

When you harness the power of your mind, your potential becomes limitless and your ability to achieve seems almost effortless.

Your Feelings

Carl Rogers was a Humanistic Psychologist and the “Father” of congruence in human development. In the early 1950s, he defined congruence as the matching of experience and awareness. Incongruence was therefore lacking congruence, or having feelings not aligned with your actions.

When your feelings and your actions are not aligned, you conflict with yourself. This creates a state of inaction, confusion and, more often than not, distress.

Many of us exist in that state never understanding why things “do not go our way“. If you are not feeling positive towards a goal, task or event the outcome will be limited. You may still achieve it but the quantity and quality of your achievement will be lacking.

Feelings feed your energy and energy is an enabler and a facilitator.

Your Actions

At this point, I am certain that things are starting to come together and make sense to you.

Let’s go back to your mind and your spinal cord. Through all those nerves – over 7 TRILLION to be exact – your mind passes your thoughts and feelings through your body and instructs you on what to do, when to do it and how to make it happen.

What you think is what happens.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If you think you can’t, you are right?“

In his 1937 book, “Think and Grow Rich“, Napoleon Hill reminded us:

 

Our minds are incredibly powerful and can manifest our desires into reality. When we think positively and believe in ourselves, we are more likely to achieve our goals.

Congruence and Personal Success: Building an Aligned Life

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One of the important exercises, (I would say critical), to be done to achieve congruence is a self-assessment of your achievement cycle.

Nothing complicated but rather a simple notation of the points in your life when you were successful and the periods when you were not.

This requires some quiet, alone time and brutal honesty. If you have been keeping journals, better yet. You can pull out and sketch your timeline.

There is a constant for everyone. An achievement cycle that looks like the one below.

 

Notice that it is not a straight line but rather a series of ebbs and flows much like waves moving inward and outward, pulling and pushing, rising and falling.

Surfers ride the waves constantly looking and feeling for the congruent point at which to jump relying on the energy of the waves to take them to their next destination. They align their actions with power and use the force of the waves to achieve the outcome they desire.

Riding the waves of life is the same.

Think of congruence as your tipping point. That point at which you are in sync along your journey. It is at that Congruent Point that you must make use of everything available to you to propel yourself upward and onward.

Obstacles to Congruence:
Identifying and Overcoming Misalignment

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Most of the time, we function incongruently. There is little or no alignment.

We are not in sync.

There is no synergy.

From my work with change and helping people become aligned, I have grouped the obstacles into four (4) main categories.

1. Self-Doubt and Negative Thinking
2. External Expectations and Pressures
3. Lack of clarity with goals and objectives
4. Fear of Change

Let’s look at these in some more detail.

1. Self-Doubt and Negative Thinking
   Have you ever heard the saying: “A house divided cannot stand“? That applies to your belief in yourself and your ability to achieve.

   If you are in doubt and harbour negativity towards something (or someone), it will be difficult to get much good or positivity out of it. Energy is a force and if it is fighting with itself movement will not be easy or fluid.

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2. External Expectations and Pressures
My daughter is now in high school. She is also an accomplished dancer and ballerina. At the age of 13 years old, she is soon to be a senior dancer in her dance company.

At times, she struggles with understanding why she has to do Chemistry and Physics in school because she is focused on (and passionate about) becoming a dancer. The two just do not go together for her.

As a result, her grades for those subjects are low and that does not make her happy. She feels forced to do something she does not enjoy because society says that she has to.

She still tries but because she is incongruent with those subjects she will not perform at her best.

Many of us are in that situation – at home, at work, in relationships – doing things that we are not in tune with. Things that create incongruence in our lives.

3. Lack of Clarity in Goals
One of the deepest struggles that I have worked through in my life is clarity with my goals – with what I wanted in my life for me. It took me a while to get to that point. Many years of searching, failing and falling.

This website is one of many in my online business inventory. It is close to my heart because it was only when I started to work online that I propelled myself into creating and living an authentic and congruent life.

While interacting with other Online Entrepreneurs, I discovered the Wealthy Affiliate (WA) Community and became a Member. While learning, researching and communicating with other members, I realised that the life I was living was not the life I wanted.

I began to dig deep into myself and search to define the lifestyle that I wanted for myself and my daughter. In our WA Community, I found other people who were congruent with the lifestyle I wanted. They were successful and happy doing what they loved.

There was no “ah ha” moment but rather a journey towards clearly defining my goals and objectives. And when that happened, everything else flowed easily from one step to another.

4. Fear of Change
This is a big one.

Nothing in life is constant yet human beings struggle with change wanting things to stay the same, the way they know it. The best way to overcome this is through acceptance.

You must accept that things will change. They will evolve. “Life tarries forward“, with or without you. Addressing your fears will hinder your congruent behaviour and cause you to stand still at best and retard at worse.

Achieving Congruence: Tools and Strategies for Alignment

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Before I understood what it meant to be congruent, I used words like “in sync” or “alignment“. They may have some of the same meaning but congruence rings louder and runs deeper.

Achieving it is not to be taken lightly. It is also not a “one-and-done” event. I prefer to embrace it as a journey and a lifelong one at that.

And with very good reason.

When you are at the Congruent Point, your behaviours and actions are closely aligned with your goals and your objectives. If, for some reason, you side-step a little, it is easy to return to your centre or your path.

The Role of Self-Awareness

Using your body as an analogy, I refer to self-awareness as the spinal column that allows for that easy return to happen. It speaks to you and lets you know when you are off track. This makes it easier to centre again.

Without self-awareness, you are walking through your life with, as the saying goes, blinders on. You are doing things by route, perhaps because you have to or because that is what you were taught to do.

But, there is little thought to the impact on you, the people around you and what you want for yourself.

With self-awareness in hand, here are 4 key strategies to help you achieve congruence.

1. Choosing Your Inner Circle
   “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.”

   Having the right people in your corner is something that many people do not approach with self-awareness and enough intention. We tend to allow people to flow in and out and far too often the wrong people stay much too long.

   This was a tough lesson that I had to learn in my life and I learned it the hard way while living far away from my home in the late 90s.

   It was during a group counselling session using Role Play that the reality of having the wrong people in my life and allowing them to influence (or many times make) my decisions and choices hit me the hardest.

   Take a blank sheet of paper and draw a circle for each of the closest people in your life. Write a name next to each circle. Inside the circle write all the positive things they bring to the relationship. Outside all the negative.

   If the outer is bigger than the inner then those negative forces will be pushing towards you. It is time to make some changes.

2. Self-Reflection and Journalling
   “Writing is an act of courage,”

   Something magical and moving happens when you put pen to paper. The act of seeing your thoughts and feelings forces you into a state of self-reflection and moves information into your conscious mind.

   While there, in that space, you are better able to “see” yourself and your actions and, where you are now.

   The incongruence shows and again, by putting pen to paper, you can start creating a new reality for yourself.

3. Concept of Perception of Who You Are
   “Your perception is your reality.”

   Have you ever heard that saying?

   It means that when you have an idea, thought or feeling about something and the way it is, your mind believes that to be true. That mental truth becomes your truth and your reality.

   As a child growing up among my cousins who were lighter-skinned than I was and who had better physical shapes than I did, I never thought myself to be attractive or beautiful. Because of that belief, I did not make many friends and kept to myself most of the time. I was also not very communicative and was perceived as being aloof and arrogant.

   Later on in life, as I moved towards understanding myself and who I wanted to be and become, I started to “see” myself differently. The transformation started inwardly as I worked hard to learn how to communicate better, (first with myself), and how to let people into my space.

   This journey led me to change how I perceived myself, how I behaved and how others perceived me. I started to “see” myself as being attractive and changed how I presented myself to the world.

   Without that transformation, I doubt that I would have achieved the level of success and confidence that I have in my life today.

4. Clarifying your Values
   “When Your Values Are Clear To You, Making Decisions Becomes Easier.”

   In 2015, I made a decision to walk away from one of the most sought-after job roles in my country. I was the Vice President and, on occasion, Acting President, of our country’s largest Energy, Oil and Gas company. The kind of job role that a lot of people dream of.

   When I walked away, it made national headlines in the news. Most people did not understand my decision and of course, speculated that I had done something wrong or been fired.

   The reality for me was that the decisions being made by the Board and the Government of the day were not congruent with my values and beliefs.

   Simple.

   That clarity made my decision to walk away very easy. It did not matter that most people, including my close family and friends, did not understand. What mattered most was the fact that I could continue to sleep well at night and I stayed true to my values and beliefs.

   You must have clear values and beliefs to arrive at the Congruent Point. Without them, you will drift through life constantly fighting to find your way much like you do when walking through a dust storm in unfamiliar terrain.

Conclusion: The Journey Towards Personal Congruence and Achievement

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Well, there you have it.

My introduction to you on what the Congruent Point is and why it is important.

No, not important.

Why it is critical for achievement and success.

“A house divided cannot stand.”

That is what happens when you build your life incongruently. It does not stand strong or for long. It often falls without warning.

The most effective way to build a resilient and strong life is to work yourself onto a pathway of congruence with the understanding that it is a journey and not a destination.

It will require constant self-awareness, introspection and adaptation. It is not an event to be reached. As you continuously evolve, you will have to make changes in your life and lifestyle but you will do so consciously and with purpose and intent.

Where Are You On Your Journey?

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At the Congruent Point, we are building a Community of like-minded people all around the world. It would be my pleasure to hear where you are on your journey and how we may be able to support you.

Our Community is already connected to one of the largest Online Entrepreneur Communities in the world. It was through my involvement in this Community that I was able to connect with people like Catherine who currently lives in Guatemala and who have helped me achieve the courage to step out and create change, (and success), at my Congruent Point.

I invite you to join me and to share your comments below. Let me know your thoughts on the Congruent Point and on this article.
Perhaps there are some topics that you would like me to explore.

I look forward to welcoming you and journeying with you to the Congruent Point.

Thank you for taking the time to read and connect with me.

Remember:- 🐛 Change Happens at the Congruent Point. 🦋

Cassandra